A Letter To Our Egg Donor

To the woman who changed our lives:

I’m a father now, and it’s all because of you.

It’s because of your existence and your selfless actions that I get to hold two beautiful babies in my arms each morning, and each night get to experience the joy – and sleeplessness – of parenthood. For that, my dear, I am eternally grateful.

The truth is, I never thought that someone like me would get to experience a feeling like this. You knew when you gifted us your eggs that I was gay. And you knew that I wanted to be a father via IVF. What you didn’t know was that I struggled with the thought of going on that journey without you. Every time I closed my eyes and dreamt up a future as a parent, it had you, your eggs, and OUR children in it.

Very few people know who you are by name, but for those people that do, they know how important you have always been in my life. This journey is unique because of that. You are, in fact, much more than a donor. Before and after this experience, you are family. I’ll never be able to repay you for the gift you’ve given us.

Most people don’t know the facts associated with egg donation. Many think it’s easy. Many assume it’s linked with hefty compensation. But there’s much more than meets the eye, especially if you know the intended parents like you do. We want you to know how much we appreciate the psychological leap you took in putting humans into the world that bear your genes, and entrusting them to us.

All we can promise you is that we will never take our twins for granted. They will know of you and what you’ve done from the moment they can communicate. They’ll understand from an early age that they are surrounded by a village that not only helped to make them, but that will forever love and have their best interests in mind. I promise that they will always feel loved and cared for, and that we give them every opportunity in life to the best of our ability.

I can’t pretend to understand how you’re feeling. I can’t know what pushed you to grant us this gift, but I do know this: You’re a saint. At a time when our world seems filled with negativity and evil, you’re an example of all that is good. No matter what happens to you in this lifetime, you should always know that you are, at your core, someone who has made the universe a better place.

So thank you, my precious egg donor. Thank you for your love and support, thank you for this gift, thank you for existing, and for reminding us how good this world – and the people in it – can be.

All my love,